no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
