Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
