So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
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