God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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