maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
