I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
