Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
