I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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