first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
