i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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