What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
