someone threw a dead crab at me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize