He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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