By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
