Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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