I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
