I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
