quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
