Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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