is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
