dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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