Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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