Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
