It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You've changed since you got that strap on
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
