Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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