he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
