I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have aggressive nipples.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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