Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
