i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
