I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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