I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
