Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
