Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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