as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
