oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
