I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize