This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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