Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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