She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
