I CAN MOONWALK!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
