My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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