he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
