i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
