It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
do nipples grow back?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
