I think i peed on brittanys purse
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
