I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
