I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
