i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
