I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
