when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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