I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
