3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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