I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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