I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
