I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize