I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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