Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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