You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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