Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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