Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
